Therapy session #2: Today I had an “aha moment” ?. During my session, I was explaining a situation and crying since the feelings still felt raw. She asked me to close my eyes and talk to my ? heart. Say what?? I had never done that before but I was open to the technique.
She asked me to verbally tell her 3 emotions I was feeling at that moment. My response was anger, sadness, and shame. We went through all 3 feelings and then I visualized pouring those feelings into an empty container. After that, I felt calmer and we ended the technique.
We began talking and I was explaining how I felt I was trying to prove something to “people”. But thinking back there was no one in my life making me feel that I had to prove anything to anyone. Then it came out… I was trying to prove to myself that I was not like my biological mother and probably subconsciously trying to prove to her that I was a better mother.
That was really an eye-opening moment. It’s definitely an underlying feeling I want to work through to come to terms with my thoughts around that choice I made many years ago.
This stuff is hard work but I know it’s needed and I want to continue to grow in my healing journey. So to those working on healing those wounds. You’re worth it. Keep going!