Read it again and again, allowing it to sink in <3
CAPTIVATED WITH PURPOSE
Blog
I Was. I am. I Will
I Was. 🌱 I Am. 🥀 I Will. 🦋
Physical Health
It’s embarrassing to realize how much I let myself go and didn’t take care of my physical body. Depression really got a hold of me for about 5 years. But I am fighting myself out of the darkness.
I’m proud of myself and eager to see the growth as well! If this inspires someone, I’m willing to risk the shame I feel and share photos of the progress.
My 1st Podcast on Youtube
I am striving to change the stigma by sharing my own story and the journey. #NoMoreShame
The Ugly, The Bad, The Good. Becoming Stronger! My childhood years were filled with UGLY memories and my teen years I made BAD choices. Now I choose to live a GOOD life. I’m becoming STRONGER.
In 2016 I started my personal blog www.UnlockedPain.com where I share my story of trauma I experienced as a child. I am a Survivor, A Voice, and an Advocate!
I choose to be transparent in sharing my story, my struggles and my journey of healing. I want others to know that they are NOT alone. I hope to be able to contribute in my own little way to fill in the gaps. Starting this podcast I truly believe I will be able to release all this negative energy. The guilt. The shame. The anger. The pain.
Thank you for listening!
Birth Mother
💝💝💝
My Uncle Molested Me
I started writing this specific post about a year ago. It’s taken me this long to write, re-write, delete, cry, find the courage and finally publish it. Even if it’s baby steps I will continue to share every incident that happened to me. Why? Because how can I encourage others to speak up, come forward and be brave, If I can’t do it myself. I want to walk in my own journey, it’s very important to me!
Disclaimer: I recently in the last year or so reconnected with some family members (YAY! so happy and Blessed for that happening) and I struggled to share the “name” of my uncle. However, I have 5 uncles and I don’t want anyone accusing the wrong person. The uncle that did this was Robert Renteria!
Continue ReadingEmotionally Broken Momentarily but Stronger Forever
I felt emotionally broken for the past 3 months. It was so debilitating and I felt like I had no control or will power. I didn’t go anywhere and I wouldn’t step foot anywhere in public. I laid in my bed as minute after minute, hour after hour, and day after day went by. I didn’t understand how I could be so unhappy (I just got married in October) one minute and completely knocked down the next minute. I was really beating myself up about this mentally. I would say things like “why are you unhappy, you just got married”, “Petra, you make no sense at all!”, “Stop it!”, “You have no reason not to be happy”, “You’re ruining a good thing”, “Here we go again” and the list can really go on and on.
The truth is I still don’t really know what caused it. It hit me like a freight train and I did not see any signs coming. I share this because it’s a reality for people who struggle with depression, anxiety, and/or PTSD. I’ve had my normal ups and downs throughout my life but nothing this severe.
Continue ReadingA gift to myself – The Saprea Retreat
Part of my healing journey was a gift to myself. I just returned from attending The Saprea Retreat (formerly The Younique Foundation’s Haven Retreat) for Survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn
HAPPY Wednesday everyone!
I’m going through a situation in my household at this moment and this statement couldn’t be any truer. When I’m going through a hard time I can’t let the negativity of the outcome take over the situation. The moment I start to allow the way I look at the outcome, it does usually change my emotional state. Living with PTSD and depression I’ve come to the realization that my emotional health has to be a top priority. So I am making a choice to start trying to tell myself that no matter the outcome, it was a learning experience and it’s okay. I say “trying” because I know I’m going to have bad days and it’s not always going to be easy. However, I do know it will be worth it and training myself to do this will make it easier eventually. I’m no professional and I am literally learning one day at a time. This post marks my first day of “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn”.
Reaching for positivism in my life has really helped me tremendously. So I wanted to share a list of some great quotes that have helped me get my day started.
Positive Words to live by:
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
When the voices of doubt start whispering, turn-up the volume of faith and listen to your heart.
Sometimes you gotta forget what you “feel” and remember what you Deserve!
Sometimes telling the story is the thing that saves your life.
When you’re trying to motivate yourself. Appreciate the fact that you’re even thinking about making a change, and as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough.
Your story could be the key that unlocks someone else’s prison. Don’t be afraid to share it.
Don’t count the days. Make the days count.
Believe in yourself & you will be Unstoppable.
Don’t wait until you’ve reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take toward reaching that goal.
Wake up everyday STRONGER than yesterday, face your fears, and wipe your tears.
You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.
F-E-A-R has two meanings; Forget Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours. – Zig Ziglar
You have a beautiful future because your ugly past didn’t kill you!
Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a meltdown. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.
I’m obsessed with finding the best and sometimes just simple words that really put me in a good mood.
Putting the pieces back together
I am no longer who I was.
I put my pieces back together differently.
