My Counseling Journey

Since my recent decision to share my story. I’ve also decided to seek counseling help through this journey. I’m not sure if when I really begin opening up and sharing all the details of the abuse, molestation, and rape incidents. If I will start feeling depressed, anxious, or triggering my PTSD. Therefore I am taking the necessary steps to take care of my mental and emotional health.

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You are NOT a label

I know the heavyweight of feeling like the world labels us. I felt the shame of being labeled if I revealed my mental health struggles. So let me ask you a question. Who would you be if the world didn’t give you a label?

Who we truly are is found inside us and not from finger-pointing or the whispers. You get to choose and define your life. I’m not saying every day will be easy or you just turn on a switch and your struggles go away.

These labels will blind us from seeing ourselves for who we truly are. When you let the world label you. It minimizes all the greatness of your unique self. Labels only distort our vision.

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My Uncle Molested Me

I started writing this specific post about a year ago. It’s taken me this long to write, re-write, delete, cry, find the courage and finally publish it. Even if it’s baby steps I will continue to share every incident that happened to me. Why? Because how can I encourage others to speak up, come forward and be brave, If I can’t do it myself. I want to walk in my own journey, it’s very important to me!

(Me and my two sisters) We have only a handful of pictures of us as kids. This is one of them, blurry but still a photo I cherish.

Disclaimer: I recently in the last year or so reconnected with some family members (YAY! so happy and Blessed for that happening) and I struggled to share the “name” of my uncle. However, I have 5 uncles and I don’t want anyone accusing the wrong person. The uncle that did this was Robert Renteria!

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Emotionally Broken Momentarily but Stronger Forever

I felt emotionally broken for the past 3 months. It was so debilitating and I felt like I had no control or will power. I didn’t go anywhere and I wouldn’t step foot anywhere in public. I laid in my bed as minute after minute, hour after hour, and day after day went by. I didn’t understand how I could be so unhappy (I just got married in October) one minute and completely knocked down the next minute. I was really beating myself up about this mentally. I would say things like “why are you unhappy, you just got married”, “Petra, you make no sense at all!”, “Stop it!”, “You have no reason not to be happy”, “You’re ruining a good thing”, “Here we go again” and the list can really go on and on.

The truth is I still don’t really know what caused it. It hit me like a freight train and I did not see any signs coming. I share this because it’s a reality for people who struggle with depression, anxiety, and/or PTSD. I’ve had my normal ups and downs throughout my life but nothing this severe.

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